(Trigger warning: rape, molestation)
Thoughts on the invisible issue of male-on-male sexual predation and the preservation of Joe Paterno.
In the wake of Paterno’s death the efforts to which some individuals associated with Penn State have been going to minimize the stain on his legacy have given me pause for thought. How is it possible complacency in reporting inappropriate behavior can be sponged away? I think the answer may have to do (at least in part) with the inability of modern western culture to deal with the issue of male rape.
Paterno was an organizational whiz and definitely the product of a bygone era. He also embodied the Western spirit of masculinity as defined by competitiveness. Maleness in his day was defined by notions of predatory and protective conduct. It always has been and it continues. Notions of team sports and hunting behavior go hand in hand. Male success is measured by ground taken or goals stolen. There is always an opponent. There must always be a winner.
This extends to issues of sexuality as well. In times past when women were regarded as property the contest took place between rival men and perhaps a woman’s father protecting the implied value of his offsprings virginity. The “game” shifted in many cultures with the societal expectation that a man now be in contest with a woman over the “prize” of her sexual favors. Playing hard to get and the coercive tactics behind pickup lines are all part of this.
Western culture accepts the inevitablity of sexual assualt on women. It may crouch behind myths of the inabiltiy of males to control their sexual urges or the suggestion that a woman is “looking for it” by dress or behavior but it is there. Girls are brought up to fear dark streets and are on guard for a reason. There is an expectation that some will be victims of rape.
No such architecture exists for adolescent boys. The victims in the Sandusky crimes were functioning within the cult of male sport which is the perfect avenue for a predator simply because the admission of weakness in any form is unthinkable. Let’s put it in perspective. A girl of thirteen is raped. Her peers may decide she had it coming but heads will nod in recognition. Societal forces have let her know from an early age that she is prey. Hers is either a cautionary tale or a tragedy depending on social category of class, race or economic standing. Her friends and family may be expected to feel deep concern for her.
A boy of thirteen is sodomized in the locker room. There is no vocabulary to describe his standing. Let us be very clear - his peers can not be expected to show sympathy. Where a female victim has become (in the most vile of patriarchal terms) damaged goods, a male victim has not only relinquished his masculine position of hunter, but has failed even in the role of hunted. In short, a boy (or man for that matter) who has been raped is not seen as “victim” by his peers or larger masculine society. He’s something else. A female rape victim retains her feminine status insofar as she upholds the deluded notion that she is a sex object. A male rape victim is not a man, and even his feminization is tainted by the conviction that good women don’t let themselves get raped.
I suspect Joe knew this instinctively. Most men do. As an expert in male team dynamics he would have recognized that the worst thing in the world for a kid would be to reveal the goings on in such a way that the other boys might find out. This is why he is being cleaned up and put back on the shelf - on some twisted level he is perceived to have done the right thing for having preserved the dignity of the victims! It’s the unwritten code.
It’s expected that boys can deal with shame or emotion internally. They play hurt and don’t let the team down. In fact, I’d go so far as to suggest that among men the stigma of living as a male victim of rape is almost on par with that of the perpetrator. This is why incidents of sexual molestation and assault on male children are under reported.
Messed up? Sure is.
